Rob's Blog

Retirement: Take 2

It's been about a year since I've been retired, and a lot of people have asked me, many with their own impending retirement on the horizon, what it's like. For the most part, very good. It's actually been less of an adjustment than I, and others (like my spouse!), thought it would be. I've always been a fairly active and busy person and it's definitely a slowing down process. However, I have enough hobbies and interests to keep me busy and keep me from getting bored. I've been playing guitar at open mics and hearing more live music. My two favorite new artists, who I've really enjoyed and seen multiple times, are Lera Lynn and James Maddock. I've been back on the tennis court, and so far I'm alive to write about it. I have binged on serials (and sometimes cereals) like True Detective, House of Cards, Annika Bengzton and now Foyle's War, a British detective series taking place during WWII. Also seeing a lot more movies, particulary after the Director's Guild sent me all the Oscar-nominated films on DVD. Sweet! This is even before NCAA Basketball and the baseball season starts. How am I going to ever fit everything in?!

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about my age, (not ABOUT my age per se, but who happens to be approximately my age), curious about how I structure my days. I was trying to explain how time seems to expand after you're retired. Incidental chores and activities, like doctor's appointments, dropping off laundry, trying to unsuccessfully pair your socks, picking up groceries at the supermarket, going to the gym, meeting people for lunch or dinner, now become the focus of your day. Whereas before, you'd squeeze these things in before or after your 10 or more hour workday, you now have the "luxury" of having those activities as your new daily goals and planning around them. "Hmmm... should I go shopping first and then walk the dogs?. But wait, I want to get new sneakers and to get the car washed. Oh and I almost forgot, I'm supposed to meet someone for lunch. What a day! It's exhausting just to think about, I think I need a nap!" Actually afternoon naps are a guilty, but wonderful pleasure, particularly with the dogs at your feet keeping you company. And speaking of dogs, I think ours are actually model retirees. They play, sleep, eat, go for walks, have a meaningful job guarding the house and keeping The Watchtower people away, and sleep some more, always finding the most comfortable spot available. Of course the postman doesn't seem to especially care for them, but I gather the feeling is mutual.

I guess the main thing I miss about work is the people. I miss the personal interaction and the satisfaction of working collectively on a project. I also thought I'd be doing a little more consulting. I'm doing some volunteer work, which I enjoy, but think I'm ready to do some "work, work." NOT that I'm soliciting, BUT if you, or someone you know needs a YouTube expert, Video Producer/Director and generally nice guy to work on a project (or alternatively, to have lunch with), please do let me know! :-) So that's about all I have to say for now. I've been SO busy, I haven't blogged in a while, maybe I'll wait until year 2 of retirement for my next post. But I am very active on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, not to mention Scoop.it, Spotify and other black holes of time. And all that email! At least I've given up Candy Crush, thank God! Anyway, I have start thinking about what I want for dinner and what time to start watching Foyle's War. Hmmmm.. maybe I should go out to eat. Oh, but that would screw up my TV schedule. Or should I should wait until tomorrow to watch Foyle's War? But then what time would I go to the gym? I don't know WHAT to do...Oh, the humanity!

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A weekday in New York City

What I have seen

Last night I saw the much acclaimed Tree of Life, the new Terrence Malick film. My first reaction was that I hated it, though after thinking about it a bit, I now simply didn't like it. It was way too long, way too ambitious and way too bizarre. Malick was  basically relating the creation of the universe, earth, and the cycle of life, juxtaposed with a fairly traditional story of Texas family with a complicated father-son relationship. There was an attempt to relate the two aspects, but on that count, I think it failed miserable. It reminded me a lot of 2001, but much less compelling. On the bright side, there was some great acting, especially from the kid playing Brad Pitt's oldest son; and his wife, played by Jessica Chastain. Brad Pitt was good, not great and Sean Penn literally sleepwalked through the role. Other than internal dialogue, I doubt if he spoke more than a dozen words. Some critics, as well as the Cannes Film Festival was raving about this film, but to me they're raving lunatics. Just because a film is ambiguous, impressionistic, and beautifully shot (which it was, particularly the cosmic stuff - there's even a dinosaur in it, one of my favorite parts) doesn't make it a masterpiece.

Oh, well. What I did enjoy a lot more was Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris. Of course, I love Woody Allen, but this was a lot of fun. Owen Wilson was one fo the better Woody "stand-ins", though I didn't much care for Rachel McAdams as his wife. But, Marion Cotillard as a fantasy/love interest, was magnifiique! Also some great turns by actors playing famous people, whom I won't mention for fear of giving away the plot, in case you don't know it or haven't seen it. What we've also been really into are these grade-b film noirs from the 40's and 50's with people like Edward G. Robinson, Gene Tierney and Victor Mature. With titles like Scarlet Street, I Wake Up Screaming, and Whirlpool. Kind of campy and dated, but really interesting to see and quite a counterpoint to today's movies, like Tree of Life. Linear, logical, slow to develop and adhering to Hollywood's morality code of that time. All the bad guys and "loose" women eventually get theirs. And the most risque scenes involve kissing. A welcome relief from genital sexting!

Christmas 2.0

Ah, another Christmas, when we Jews can re-connect with our inner child of societal alienation. While the Christians celebrate with Christmas geese, gingerbread houses, stockings and gifts under a fragrant tree, we're still scraping the wax drippings from our Hannukah candles off the kitchen counter. And maybe sheepishly going out for a movie and Chinese food. It is refreshing, however, to see that even the Christmas story has been reconfigured as a social media event, appealing to all denominations. Happy Holidays, everyone! May your tweets be merry and bright.

Jeremy

The Halper Family: Back row - Jeremy, Zachary; Middle row - Stacey, Linda, Rob; Bottom row: Rosie and Beauty.

While on a recent trip to South Africa, when we told our sons we would be out of touch, we nevertheless received a call from Jeremy, our adopted son, that he was moving to Texas to live with his birth father. Yeah, wow! Needless to say, it was a shock to our systems, and maybe why I ended up losing my blackberry on the trip. That was enough news to digest! Of course, we have complicated feelings about this. On the one hand, we are happy for Jeremy that he will be able to connect to a part of his life and his past. I think it is important for him to fill in the blanks and that his establishing a relationship with his birth father will be a healing experience for both of them. On the other hand, we feel sad that we will be in some sense "losing" him, though both he, and my wife and I, know that we love him, and will always be his parents, as we have since his birth, 25 years ago. I'm sure this story will develop.  But in the meantime, I feel sad and pained, like something I've been used to, like a limb, has been torn from my life.

 

What's Up

Haven't posted in a while. Recently attended the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. Pretty disappointing. Very crowded, not all that interesting. Some beautiful TV's, many 3D, but who wants to have to wear glasses when watching television in your living room? Also, there were aisles and aisles of skins, earphones, and other accessories for iPhones and iPods.Talk about a cottage industry - more like a McMansion! If you want to see spectacular 3D, go see "Avatar" in 3D/IMAX. It's a great visual experience, with superb art direction and effects. The story wears a little thin by the end, but who cares. Didn't like "Crazy Heart" all that much, despite the good word of mouth. I found Maggie Gillyenhall unbelievable, though the music, and Jeff Bridges, were good. Been busy at work, but relaxing today watching football. Reading a biography of Einstein by Walter Issacson. Relatively (ha) difficult read, but worth the effort.

My Son's Graduation

It was a bittersweet event, attending my son Zach's graduation from Goucher College On the one hand, I'm very proud of him, both for his accomplishments, and for the adult he's become. But I worry about his job prospects, how he will cope with the "real world", whatever that is, and whether he is happy. Someone said "You are only as happy as your most unhappy child." As much as you want your kids to learn how to navigate life on their own, it's hard not to try to micromanage. At least for us.

It also brings back my own memories of college, also bittersweet. Like Zach, I graduated from a small liberal arts college. My student days, from 1969 - 1973, were filled with tumult; societal, political and personal. They weren't  "the best years of my life", and neither were they the worst. As with everytning, there were moments of elation and sadness, profound connections and searing loneliness, enlightenment and confusion. One thing about time, though, it does fly, whether you're having fun or not! And it's a one way ticket. So it's best to try and enjoy the ride and the scenery as much as you can. Youth is not wasted on the young, it's a gift endowed upon all of us.

more pix next page

Mist Opportunities

That phrase seems to have embedded itself in my mind. It's about all those things you "coulda, shoulda, woulda." It's not a unique thought and it runs along the lines of "Youth is wasted on the young", and "the older I get, the better I was." All this while I contemplate my 40th high school reunion. Frightening! Anyway, back to the phrase. It seems to me that most people have regrets about what could have been. I certainly do. But it's easy to second-guess yourself, when making the unfair comparison between fantasy and reality. Reality is solid ground, fantasy is by definition shaped only by yourself; ephemeral and easily evaporated when looked at closely. Hence "Mist" instead of "Missed." I'm actually not an optimist by nature, but thinking of the past in this way, has helped me be more present. Or to borrow a blunt but insightful saying from AA, "If you have one leg in the past and one leg in the future, you're pissing on the present!"