Rob's Blog

The Loss of a "best friend"

We recently had to say goodbye to our beloved dog, Beauty. Her name defined her both inside and out. All dogs are special but Beauty had something deep and spiritual about her. She had an intense, human stare and used it to effectively communicate. Dogs are special because they give you pure, unconditional love, don't hide their emotions and are always demonstratively ecstatic to see you. Humans don't seem to be able to achieve that level of honesty with each other. Beauty was almost 14, and to the end she was a trooper. Even though her back legs were going and she lost a lot of weight, she still went out with us on walks, though we had to do a little pulling to help out. On the day we had to put her to sleep, I had come home to find her lying on the bed, inert. Even though she had eaten that morning, she had thrown up and wouldn't take any treats, always a bad sign. She had a kind of rattle in her breathing and I was hoping it was some kind of bronchial infection that they could treat. I was still in denial about how serious her condition might be. Our vet was not able to see her so we went to the Animal Emergency Referral Center in Fairfield, NJ, a wonderful facility. We had to drag Beauty there in her bed and they helped us put her on a gurney. They examined her and took an x-ray. What they found was bad news. Her stomach had twisted around and was causing her to be sick and in pain. We had to decide what to do. We were a bit in shock. The options were to euthanize her, or put her through a serious operation, which might not have solved the problem, and involved a long recovery period. It finally dawned on us that we would have to lose her. We were heartbroken and in tears, but it would have been inhumane to put a 14 year-old dog through that trauma. They gave her a sedative to relax her and then brought her into the room where we were waiting. She seemed to be only semi-conscious, but we spoke to her, telling how much we loved her, what a wonderful dog she was and how we'd miss her, all the while in tears. She was given the injection to stop her heart and she drifted off, looking peaceful and still beautiful. The vet told us that this was the gift we could give our beloved pet, to let her die painlessly and with those who loved her dearly. I'm crying as I write this but feel that our continued sadness is a way we can still connect with her. Our other dog, Rosie, grew up with Beauty and seems very subdued. All we can do is give her all our love and attention, while still mourning Beauty, who we will always lovingly remember and whose life we shared.

A weekday in New York City

Now that I'm retired I can actually hang out during the week! Although the city traffic does not make for a pleasant experience. Other than that, I had a great afternoon in with my cousin Suzanne Laberge Great find for lunch, "Delicatessen" on Prince and Lafayette. Then I saw her "hotel", which basically looked (and sounded, according to Suzanne) like a flophouse. In fact it pretty much IS a flophouse! The rooms were the size of a spacious bathroom with latticed ceilings which made for a lot of unwanted verbal intimacy with fellow guests. Finally found Yonah Schimmel on Houston and 2nd Ave. http://www.knishery.com/main.htm, the best and, probably oldest, Knish place in the city. Hadn't been there in years. What a treat!

 

Working for the Common Good

Last night, my wife Linda, was an honoree at the BlueWaveNJ Annual Ball, this year's theme being "Working for the Common Good." BlueWaveNJ is a progressive grass roots organization working to effect positive change in such critical areas as health care, the economy, marriage equality, the environment, education, electoral reform and sensible gun control. It is almost entirely run by volunteers, one of whom is Linda. Here are her remarks:

In Jan 2005, BlueWave rescued me from the empty nest blues and gave me some hope after the demoralizing Kerry defeat, and  a second Bush term.  This wonderful organization helped me find my voice and express my concerns on a local, state and national level.  I was somewhat reticent when I first joined, but became more vocal and confident with the support and guidance of more seasoned BlueWave members. I started by getting educated on issues, and became involved with the Election Reform working group, and later, the Climate Change group.  I canvassed door to door and did phone banking for state and national campaigns, neither of which I had previously done.  I'm proud to have  been appointed as Secretary of the BWNJ Board and Steering Committee, and have also helped run the Silent Auctions at the Blue Wave Balls. I have felt empowered by participating in political  demonstrations and by lobbying our Senators and Congressman on a variety of issues.  I have learned after 6 years of involvement in BWNJ that the best antidote to despair about our country is to get involved on a grass roots level. Blue Wave has been a family affair. My  son Zach has been honored for his work as a volunteer at the BlueWave community center, and my husband, Rob, has videotaped events, and is helping out with the Silent Auction tonight. My niece, Katie Halper, has emceed our ball several times and performed with her Laughing Liberally group for a fund raising event.  Katie was also responsible for getting Nate Silver as an honorary guest at our ball two years ago, and Chris Hayes as speaker for our upcoming membership meeting in June. BWNJ is a wonderful community of which I am gratified to be a member.  It wouldn't exist without the efforts of our tireless leader Marcia Marley,  and the participation of many bluewavers past and present. You know who you are. Thank you for this honor.

What a great vacation!

Got back last week from a terrific vacation in the Seattle area. We spent a few days in Seattle, which is a nice city, very laid back, though that belies the fact that you can't walk a block without running into a Starbucks or some other coffee place. Very caffeinated. We then went to a spa at Snowqualmie, which was nice, though we've been to better. The highligts of the trips came later. We visited Orcas Island, part of the San Juan Islands off of Seattle. It was amazing. We stayed at Turtleback Farm Inn, near Eastsound. It was set overlooking acres of land which was home to a small herd of sheep, one of whom was very friendly, particularly if you had food!

The view from our room at Turtleback Farm Inn

 

Feeding "Chompers"!

We took hikes, walked around town, went to a Farmer's market, ate great food, and I even jumped off a bridge into a lake. Fun! (You'll have to take my word for it, Linda thought I was crazy and didn't take a picture.)

  Click below to read about Mount Rainier National Park!

My son, the president....

Well, not really, but Zach has been working at the NonProfit Times, specifically their job seeking site. In this economy, I'm very happy that he has been able to get a paying job, after doing various internships. However, his experience in working as an intern at a start-up, MetroFlats (no longer in business), was key in his being hired for the "real" job. Anyway, he deserves a pat on the back for his perseverance in this tough economy. I just hope for everyone's sake it improves. 

Jewish Christmas

Well, no Chinese food - we went to a party instead, but did see a GREAT movie - The King's Speech. With Colin Firth and Jeffrey Rush turning in phenomenal performances. Yesterday it started to snow like crazy - probably about 2 feet in Montclair, NJ. Don't remember getting so much accumulation in years. So spent a cozy evening inside, making a fire, making s'more's (just can't get that chocolate to melt right!) and watching Fargo, which was great movie to watch on a snowy evening. Pretty  much snowed in today. Did some shovelling, but didn't do much good. But Rosie, our Portuguese Water (Snow?) Dog, seemed to love it. Our boxer mix, not so much!

Jeremy

The Halper Family: Back row - Jeremy, Zachary; Middle row - Stacey, Linda, Rob; Bottom row: Rosie and Beauty.

While on a recent trip to South Africa, when we told our sons we would be out of touch, we nevertheless received a call from Jeremy, our adopted son, that he was moving to Texas to live with his birth father. Yeah, wow! Needless to say, it was a shock to our systems, and maybe why I ended up losing my blackberry on the trip. That was enough news to digest! Of course, we have complicated feelings about this. On the one hand, we are happy for Jeremy that he will be able to connect to a part of his life and his past. I think it is important for him to fill in the blanks and that his establishing a relationship with his birth father will be a healing experience for both of them. On the other hand, we feel sad that we will be in some sense "losing" him, though both he, and my wife and I, know that we love him, and will always be his parents, as we have since his birth, 25 years ago. I'm sure this story will develop.  But in the meantime, I feel sad and pained, like something I've been used to, like a limb, has been torn from my life.

 

Baseball, hot dogs and social work

My wife Linda and I went to see the Mets game last night, at Citifield, in Queens. The Mets literally threw the game away, committing 3 errors, including a 2-out ground ball that went through the legs of third baseman David Wright, which led to 2 unearned runs. Citifield is beautiful, but I found it too cavernous and impersonal. It's certainly easier getting in and out of it though, than Yankee Stadium, but a lot more frustrating if you want to see a good baseball game. This one was particularly bad, but in a way it gave me some perspective for when I get furious with the Yankees for not winning every game they play. At least that was the advice of Linda, my social worker wife. She was a fill-in for my son Zach, an avid baseball fan, who was planning to go, but had made plans to celebrate his birthday weekend with some friends. It was fun and amusing going with Linda. She is now a real Yankee fan, having the philosophy of "if you can't beat 'em....", after being around Zach and I, who are constantly watching Yankee games or the MLB channel. Once she "knows' the players, she gets emotionally involved, as if it's a 'reality show'! Anyway, when David Wright came up to bat, the inning after his costly error, Mets fans started to boo. Linda turned around to engage with two particularly vociferous ones, and asked them why they were booing him when he was batting, instead of encouraging him. Fearing a confrontation, I quickly intervened, saying "Sorry, she's a social worker, don't listen to her", but one of them actually agreed with her, and I guess when you think of it, she's right. If you're going to boo, do it when he makes the bad play, not when he's trying to redeem himself at the plate. Sort of like scolding a dog for taking food from the table, ten minutes after he's done it! Anyway, after that, Linda went back to "watching" the game, in an ambivalent kind of way.

Linda doing her favorite thing at a baseball game.

Linda doing her second most favorite thing at a baseball game

BlogHer 2010

Just returned from BlogHer2010, the premier event for women bloggers, who cover topics such as kids and family, relationships, "green" living, coupon collecting and fashion. Quite a wide range from the approximately 2500 "bloghers" who showed up at the Hilton, in New York City, on Friday and Saturday, August 6-7. For the first time, Johnson & Johnson had a booth representing the company. During the previous 2 years at BlogHer, we sponsored a SAFE KIDS USA booth. The theme of our booth this year was "Johnson & Johnson, A Legacy of Caring", which celebrates our 125 year history of helping people lead healthier and happier lives. We invited attendees to tell their own "stories of caring", which we videotaped and posted to the Johnson & Johnson health channel on you tube. We had over 50 stories over the two day period, focusing on caring about family, children, helping others, charitable giving, and even a couple about pets. All in all, it was a great experience and a wonderful way to connect with people, and we hope to have a continued presence at BlogHer going forward. Here's one of the videos recorded, by Mom, Vera Sweeney:

 

 

It's a Dog's Life....

Speaking of dogs, I read an interesting book, "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle". It was an Oprah book, so predictably a little sappy, but it was impossible to put down, and there were some really great sections on dogs, fictional though they might have been. Then of course, there's Philip Roth's book,"The Humbling", yet another treatise on sex and death with which he's been obsessed in his last several books, as opposed to some of his earlier books where he was only obsessed by the former. Another good read, "What The Dog Saw", by Malcom Gladwell. Probably my favorite of all three.