Rob's Blog

If you want "friends", you need to post!

Mark Zuckerberg told me I needed to post something or my blog would not appear on my Facebook page. It got me to thinking about how Facebook can influence your behavior, this being one example. And certainly "likes" on FB will encourage you to post similar content, as "likes" seem to give you a dopamine boost! So let's say pictures of you and your wife in idyllic settings is liked by dozens of people. Does that mean that you will look for more idyllic settings with your wife to share? Can it actually enhance a relationship if you are seeking out such experiences?! It can also be detrimental to friendships. I've been very surprised by some political views expressed by friends, not FB ones, but real ones. I've had to "defriend" them on Facebook, and in a way you are "defriending" them in reality. So that's my post. Ok, Mark?!

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The Loss of a "best friend"

The Loss of a "best friend"

We recently had to say goodbye to our beloved dog, Beauty. Her name defined her both inside and out. All dogs are special but Beauty had something deep and spiritual about her. She had an intense, human stare and used it to effectively communicate. Dogs are special because they give you pure, unconditional love, don't hide their emotions and are always demonstratively ecstatic to see you. Humans don't seem to be able to achieve that level of honesty with each other. Beauty was almost 14, and to the end she was a trooper. Even though her back legs were going and she lost a lot of weight, she still went out with us on walks, though we had to do a little pulling to help out. On the day we had to put her to sleep, I had come home to find her lying on the bed, inert. Even though she had eaten that morning, she had thrown up and wouldn't take any treats, always a bad sign. She had a kind of rattle in her breathing and I was hoping it was some kind of bronchial infection that they could treat. I was still in denial about how serious her condition might be. Our vet was not able to see her so we went to the Animal Emergency Referral Center in Fairfield, NJ, a wonderful facility. We had to drag Beauty there in her bed and they helped us put her on a gurney. They examined her and took an x-ray. What they found was bad news. Her stomach had twisted around and was causing her to be sick and in pain. We had to decide what to do. We were a bit in shock. The options were to euthanize her, or put her through a serious operation, which might not have solved the problem, and involved a long recovery period. It finally dawned on us that we would have to lose her. We were heartbroken and in tears, but it would have been inhumane to put a 14 year-old dog through that trauma. They gave her a sedative to relax her and then brought her into the room where we were waiting. She seemed to be only semi-conscious, but we spoke to her, telling how much we loved her, what a wonderful dog she was and how we'd miss her, all the while in tears. She was given the injection to stop her heart and she drifted off, looking peaceful and still beautiful. The vet told us that this was the gift we could give our beloved pet, to let her die painlessly and with those who loved her dearly. I'm crying as I write this but feel that our continued sadness is a way we can still connect with her. Our other dog, Rosie, grew up with Beauty and seems very subdued. All we can do is give her all our love and attention, while still mourning Beauty, who we will always lovingly remember and whose life we shared.

Educating the Daughters of Lwala

A school run by the NGO, Lwala Community Alliance encourages girls to stay in school, which helps strengthen communities. The lack of sanitary protection is one factor in girls dropping out of school because of embarrassment. Johnson & Johnson helps alleviate this problem by partnering with Lwala Community Alliance sponsoring local workers who supply the girls with re-usable sanitary pads.

 

 

 

 

 

Retirement: Take 2

It's been about a year since I've been retired, and a lot of people have asked me, many with their own impending retirement on the horizon, what it's like. For the most part, very good. It's actually been less of an adjustment than I, and others (like my spouse!), thought it would be. I've always been a fairly active and busy person and it's definitely a slowing down process. However, I have enough hobbies and interests to keep me busy and keep me from getting bored. I've been playing guitar at open mics and hearing more live music. My two favorite new artists, who I've really enjoyed and seen multiple times, are Lera Lynn and James Maddock. I've been back on the tennis court, and so far I'm alive to write about it. I have binged on serials (and sometimes cereals) like True Detective, House of Cards, Annika Bengzton and now Foyle's War, a British detective series taking place during WWII. Also seeing a lot more movies, particulary after the Director's Guild sent me all the Oscar-nominated films on DVD. Sweet! This is even before NCAA Basketball and the baseball season starts. How am I going to ever fit everything in?!

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about my age, (not ABOUT my age per se, but who happens to be approximately my age), curious about how I structure my days. I was trying to explain how time seems to expand after you're retired. Incidental chores and activities, like doctor's appointments, dropping off laundry, trying to unsuccessfully pair your socks, picking up groceries at the supermarket, going to the gym, meeting people for lunch or dinner, now become the focus of your day. Whereas before, you'd squeeze these things in before or after your 10 or more hour workday, you now have the "luxury" of having those activities as your new daily goals and planning around them. "Hmmm... should I go shopping first and then walk the dogs?. But wait, I want to get new sneakers and to get the car washed. Oh and I almost forgot, I'm supposed to meet someone for lunch. What a day! It's exhausting just to think about, I think I need a nap!" Actually afternoon naps are a guilty, but wonderful pleasure, particularly with the dogs at your feet keeping you company. And speaking of dogs, I think ours are actually model retirees. They play, sleep, eat, go for walks, have a meaningful job guarding the house and keeping The Watchtower people away, and sleep some more, always finding the most comfortable spot available. Of course the postman doesn't seem to especially care for them, but I gather the feeling is mutual.

I guess the main thing I miss about work is the people. I miss the personal interaction and the satisfaction of working collectively on a project. I also thought I'd be doing a little more consulting. I'm doing some volunteer work, which I enjoy, but think I'm ready to do some "work, work." NOT that I'm soliciting, BUT if you, or someone you know needs a YouTube expert, Video Producer/Director and generally nice guy to work on a project (or alternatively, to have lunch with), please do let me know! :-) So that's about all I have to say for now. I've been SO busy, I haven't blogged in a while, maybe I'll wait until year 2 of retirement for my next post. But I am very active on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, not to mention Scoop.it, Spotify and other black holes of time. And all that email! At least I've given up Candy Crush, thank God! Anyway, I have start thinking about what I want for dinner and what time to start watching Foyle's War. Hmmmm.. maybe I should go out to eat. Oh, but that would screw up my TV schedule. Or should I should wait until tomorrow to watch Foyle's War? But then what time would I go to the gym? I don't know WHAT to do...Oh, the humanity!

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I'm Retired!!

A weekday in New York City

A History of Violence

I find myself reading a lot about Native Americans these days. I've always admired their culture, their respect for the land and the natural world. Unfortunately during the mid 1800's we essentially decimated their population and culture, by either slaughtering them or forcing to live in inhospitable reservations where they were unable to live according to their traditions. We also introduced them to smallpox and alcohol as an added bonus. We encroached upon their land and manipulated them into signing absurdly one-sided treaties, which we kept revising. Many of the Native American tribes were openly hostile towards the white settlers and the threat to their way of life, which is understandable. However, there were many Chiefs and tribes that struggled to attain a lasting peace with the U.S., notably Black Kettle of the Cheyenne Nation.

From Wikipedia: At dawn on November 29, Chivington (Colonel in the U.S. Army) attacked the Sand Creek reservation. Most of the warriors were out hunting. Following Indian agent instructions, Black Kettle flew an American flag and a white flag from his tipi, but the signal was ignored. The Colorado forces killed 163 Cheyenne by shooting or stabbing. They burned down the village encampment. Most of the victims were women and children. For months afterward, members of the militia displayed trophies in Denver of their battle, including body parts they had taken for souvenirs.^[3]

At a later battle, Black Kettle was eventually killed along with others, while trying to escape the Battle of Washita River, when and his wife were shot in the back. By that time all prospects of peace were lost and the Amerian Indians were essentially wiped out at Wounded Knee .

Shamefully, we destroyed a great legacy of culture, knowledge and wisdon. All this in the name of "manifest destiny", which really meant greed, brutality and racsim. The quest for gold, the vested interests in the railroads and the irrepressible drive towards commercialism and commerce. It's especially painful to realize that while all this was happening African-Americans were enduring the horror of slavery. It's a legacy than none of us can be proud of. Perhaps when we played "Cowboys and Indians" as kids, we had the wrong side as the "good guys."

I recommend reading Dee Brown's classic, "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee", "Black Kettle: The Cheyenne Chief who sought peace, but found war", "Hear That Lonesome Whistle Blow", also by Dee Brown about the building of the transcontinental railroads, and "Black Elk Speaks."

 

 

 

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Today in History, November 29th

IN MEMORIAM: The Sioux at Wounded Knee 1890

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Military History Monday: Sand Creek Massacre

Gravity fails to hold me and other movie reviews

With all the hype about the film, Gravity turned out to be a rather empty, superficial story. I guess the effects were interesting, but more likely from a process point of view, rather than being overly impressive to see. George Clooney played George Clooney, and the only other actor in the film was Sandra Bullock, who muttered a lot behind her space helmet. Overall, very disappointing, despite the overly dramatic soundtrack.

Enough Said, with the late James Ganfolfini, and the very present Julia Louis-Dreyfus, was fun, though not as profound as it set out to be. Basically a romantic comedy it tells the story of 2 slightly damaged people and the distractions and insecurities which challenge their relationship. Louis-Dreyfus continues to impress me with her comic facility. She was great as Elaine on Seinfeld and absoutely hilarious on Veep. She was good in this too, though unfortunately there was not a lot of chemistry between herself and Gandolfini, which was definitely a problem.

Also saw the award-winning film, Wadja. Definitely not light fare, it was the first film ever to be made inside Saudi Arabia. It's the story of about an irrepressible girl in an extremely repressed society. If it is a realistic depiction of life in Saudi Arabia, it is very sobering. Women's rights are virtually non-existent, religion is strictly "enforced", and individualism stifled. It's a fascinating look at a society seemingly out of sync with what we consider to be modern ideals.

That's it for my movie going. I still miss Breaking Bad and am now concentrating on watching the World Series!

Jimmy Webb Concert

My passionate and articulate wife Linda Friedricks Halper espousing (that's what spouses do!) about a recent Jimmy Webb Concert we saw at the Outpost in the Burbs:

"How do you know that you have been to a great concert: You can't get the music out of your head. It is like being in love, you feel the music deep in your soul. You find out everything you can about this incredible performer on Goggle. You look at his concert tour to see when you can see him again and play his two magnificent CDs you purchased at the concert all the next day. This grand obsession is what has happened to me after seeing Jimmy Webb play a benefit concert at Outpost in the Burbs, Friday night, Oct. 18. Jimmy Webb is an amazingly talented singer songwriter whose music spans 40 + years. His hits and the artists who made them famous are" Up Up and Away" (The Fifth Dimension), "By the Time I Get to Phoenix", "Galveston"," Wichita Lineman" ( Glen Campbell ),"All I Know" (Art Garfunkle), "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" and "Easy for You to Say" (Linda Ronstadt)and "MacArthur's Park" (Richard Harris). His songs are a history of music itself and for me were evocative of my teenage and young adulthood years. Although he might not be as polished a singer as say Glen Campbell , Webb's phrasing and raw emotional interpretations of his music communicated the love and respect he felt for his songs. He was also an accomplished raconteur, recounting colorful stories about his songs and the singers who covered them. I strongly recommend that you don't pass up the chance to see this extraordinary entertainer and former Montclairian in concert."

Included is a Jimmy Webb sing along to "The Worst That Could Happen" from the concert http://youtu.be/am60GSMkO28

There is life after work

In my retirement I'm finding myself busier than I'd expected. It was definitely an adjustment not having a place to go every day. In the beginning I was still getting up at my regular time of 6:45am. I got into the habit of going downstairs making breakfast, reading the NY Times on my iPad and then wondering what I would do at 9am! Initially I had a lot of things to organize in terms of changing emails, banking, continuation of benefits, etc. But after that high energy lift I found myself a bit out of sorts. I realized one of the things I missed about going to work everyday was interacting with the people. Without the work environment, that element was missing. I had one freelance job back in May for a healthcare management company, AVOCA, but otherwise didn't have much to do. So, I started making lunch dates and getting back to my TV roots by volunteering as a Director at Channel 34, the local Montclair Cable station. One of the shows we're doing is a music show called No Cover, featuring my friend Gail Prusslin interviewing both local and nationally known musicians talking about and playing their music. I also put together a video for a non-profit, Succeed2gether. I'm working out and even playing tennis again after about a 10-year layoff, visiting some former colleagues, one of whom is in California, and have a speaking engagement at exl Pharma in December. Also tweeting more, posting on Facebook, and I suppose I should be blogging more! I'm just worried about getting TOO busy. Life is never simple.

A weekday in New York City

Now that I'm retired I can actually hang out during the week! Although the city traffic does not make for a pleasant experience. Other than that, I had a great afternoon in with my cousin Suzanne Laberge Great find for lunch, "Delicatessen" on Prince and Lafayette. Then I saw her "hotel", which basically looked (and sounded, according to Suzanne) like a flophouse. In fact it pretty much IS a flophouse! The rooms were the size of a spacious bathroom with latticed ceilings which made for a lot of unwanted verbal intimacy with fellow guests. Finally found Yonah Schimmel on Houston and 2nd Ave. http://www.knishery.com/main.htm, the best and, probably oldest, Knish place in the city. Hadn't been there in years. What a treat!

 

I'm Retired!!

After 19 years at Johnson & Johnson, I just finished my last day! It hasn't really sunk in yet, though I feel a wave of relief as its been a difficult year. There have been a lot of changes at work, and though I've accomplished a lot, our department was moving in a different direction. Not that my work wasn't appreciated - they threw me a really nice party last night and I received a lot of praise, hugs and presents. I'm going to just kick back for a while, but I already have some potential consulting/video projects in the works. I really do want to relax for a while, but while most people retire from work to do what they've always wanted to do - I've already been doing that! I'm very fortunate to have loved working in video, which I have done throughout my career, at CBS and J&J. So, while I look forward to not working, and certainly not commuting, I'm interested in seeing where this stage leads me.